Christians and Divorce - What Does the Bible Say?

What exactly does the Bible say about being Christian and Divorce? There are many texts throughout scripture on the subject of divorce and the over riding message to Christians is that it is wrong and therefore unacceptable.

According to (Malachi 2:16) "God hates divorce". So as a Christian, divorce should never be an option although the Christian world today does face as many divorces as non Christians. According to (Luke 11:4) reconciliation restoration and forgiveness are supposed to be the identifiers of a true Christian. Taken literally this would indicate that these measures are what God would like to see happening.

There are only two specific reasons spoken about in the Bible as to how being Christian and Divorce could be acceptable. (Matthew 19:9) discusses "unrepentant adultery" as a reason for a Christian to want a divorce and (1 Corinthians 7:15) speaks about the abandonment of a Christian by a non Christian Spouse. This however should still not be regarded as a "get out clause" and once again a true Christian should seek reconciliation by any means and a move towards forgiveness.

In (Luke 14:26) the message is clear when Jesus says that you should love Him more than your own life. Thus the way to ensure that your marriage is a happy one is to ensure that you put Him first in all that you do.

If divorce is currently at the forefront of your life right now you must endeavor to do all that is possible to prevent it through counseling, therapy and help from friends or religious leaders. Clearly "Christian and Divorce" are two words which are just not compatible. The only separation you should be seeking is the separation of these two words.

There are many activities you can carry out yourself such as formatting a plan of action so that you know in your heart that you have tried and explored every way possible to avoid the catastrophic outcome of divorce.

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Marriage Relationships and Divorce

Marriage relationships and divorce is a topic that is pretty common. This is because it is hard to mention the word marriage without divorce being somewhere in the back of your mind. It is pretty vital for you to know some of the facts on marriage relationships and divorce. First, the divorce rate in the United States is 50%. This is to say that in every two marriages, one will not make it. Putting it this way is quite alarming however; this is not to dampen your spirit. On a more positive note, it is vital to mention that most young people see the need to get married someday. This shows that marriage still holds the importance it deserves. No matter what they say, marriage will still remain as the only legitimate way to get into a long term relationship and have offspring. If you are for the idea of marriage, you need to recognize divorce as a reality. Once in marriage, there are several things you can do to ensure that you do not reach that stage where divorce is inevitable.

Marriage relationships and divorce do not have to go hand in hand. Therefore, when you identify a person to marry, it is crucial that you ensure that your decision is the right one. Sometimes, we allow the possibility of divorce to come up by choosing people we are not compatible with. You must take time before you get married and make sure that you marry the partner, you can deal with. Once you are in the marriage, the work begins. Most people will go to sleep and let issues solve themselves. A marriage needs work more than any other relationship. You need to speak in one voice and uphold the sanctity of marriage. Respect for your partner is essential. There are several ways in which you show respect and one way is through your actions. If you are angry, do not behave in a childish manner like many partners do. You need to tell your spouse to their face that you are not happy with a particular issue.

In the marriage relationships and divorce topic, the other way to show respect to your spouse is through how you talk. You should address them in a loving manner so that they can find the dignity. If you are not used to showing respect to your spouse, why not start showing it today and notice the dramatic difference. Remember, for divorce to occur, it does not take major things but the little things you do for a period of time. To avert divorce, keep the lines of communication open. You do not have to talk about serious stuff. Make conversation out of silly things and you will grow closer together. Your spouse is not just your marriage partner but, they are your friend. Friends are people you can lean on; people you can count on to be there for you. Above all things play your role and keep away from infidelity, obsessive jealousy, strife, malice and other ills. You have the power to kill or revive your union; choose to keep it alive.

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Dating and Love After Divorce

Your marriage is over...now what? After allowing a sufficient amount of time to deal with the emotional fallout after divorce , it is time to move forward and begin a new journey into the land of dating and relationships once again. But, what is a sufficient amount of time? How do you find the strength to let someone into your life when you've shared so much for so many years then lost it? No two people are ever the same, no two situations are ever the same and the same rule applies to divorce. There is no universal solution when we all unique and our situations are unique, but there are some general tips to dating and love after divorce.

A divorce changes far more than your family dynamic, it will test your closest friendships as well. Though they will all deny it, your friends have all taken sides, passed judgement and gone to one side or the other..it cannot be avioded. Even if your best friend is still your best friend the relationship itself will have changed...and may continue to change now that you have a new found freedom. Perhaps you have a single friend of the opposite sex you've always admired . If dating them is not an option perhaps they can introduce you to the world of being single. You never know they may even have a single friend that is just right for your first date post divorce. The important thing is to get out and meet people. Soon, you will have a whole new circle of friends and potential dates. Start living your life again...love the freedom being single has brought you . Get a new hair cut or a cute new outfit to reward your rebirth.

If you are now single with children, make sure that they have emotionally dealt with the divorce situation before you shift into dating gear. Dating is an awareness process, so be sure to go on a few dates and know for certain this is someone you want to spend time with before introducing them to your kids... Screening your dates and limiting your childrens exposure to them until you are certain you will commit yourself to taking the relationship to another level will make their transition to your new life easier. They have had enough upheaval . However, always be honest with your dates about your family and your commitment to them. Hiding the facts is no way to ensure a second date.

Insecurities in yourself may surface after a divorce and this is quite normal. Your partner got your very best years and now no longer wants you. You might in a weak moment wonder if someone else will ever want you. Part of the healing process is knowing that we are not judged by the state of a marriage or the opinion of one man. Things just didn't work out the way you planned ..don't let it define an entire gender. Hopefully you will take your healing past this point before you think about dating or love after divorce. If not, it may not have much of a chance for survival. People need to be whole individuals before they bring someone else into their life...because to find a great partner you need to first be a great partner. Smile as much as you can, even if you have to fake it at first. Soon, those fake smiles will turn into the real thing.

One of the greatest challenges post divorce, or for that matter dealing with dating in general , is the first date. If you can make it through that very first date with confidence knowing you are the best date this person could ever be out with you are far down road of recovery. Take it slowly, and realize that dating, especially after a divorce is about learning and growing. There will be failures. You might get your heart bruised, maybe even broken a time or two before you get it right. But one lesson that your divorce should have taught you is this: you are far stronger than you ever thought possible and you will get through this too, better, stronger and wiser on the other side. Dating and Love after divorce are definitely yours for the taking.

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Love and Too Many Expectations

If a person feels under constant pressure to conform to your desires, he or she will eventually rebel and might even - consciously or subconsciously - sabotage the relationship. You want this person to be there for you all the time; you want this person to behave a certain way, to be supportive, to be sensitive to your needs, to be spontaneous... You want this person to be a clairvoyant and read your mind. You want them to know in advance what you desire! This is not realistic... You need to be very clear and positive about what you want, and use proper communication, with positive words of encouragement.

For instance, you can't keep complaining that you're the only one doing chores. Instead, you need to be explicit about what you would like your partner to do, and ask him or her nicely. For instance, "Would you please take the rubbish out" or "Would you please check on the baby" is much better than sighing and whining that you're the only one who ever does anything in this house.

You would like your partner to be in tune with you at all times, but what about you being in tune with him or her? If you pile too many expectations on someone, that person will soon long for space and withdraw - or run away in the worst case scenario. Too many expectations will make them feel imprisoned and powerless, which in turn will make them long for freedom.

If you have too many expectations it can also make you depressed, as you'll end up feeling that you never get what you want. Instead of appreciating him or her, you feel that this person is inadequate, not really made for you. Once you thought the were your soulmate, and now you wonder what brought you together in the first place!

Put your expectations aside for a while. Your love life will automatically improve. You will begin to appreciate your mate and feel grateful for what they've got to offer, instead of looking at their defects. Remind yourself of what he or she does for you every day on a consistent basis. All these little things add up, so acknowledge them and praise your partner for them. Sometimes just being there for someone and putting up with this person is a great gift, one that is easily overlooked!

Not expectations, but praise and appreciation are the keys to good relationships.

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Why is it So Hard to Find Love?

You want it badly. Yet for some reason, it seems like it is just not for you. Whatever tricks and techniques you pick up from the so-called experts, you still just can't seem to attract a girl or attract a guy that would be right for you. You might be thinking to yourself, why is it so hard to find love?

Well, the good news is that it does not have to be. Every single day in every city and country across the globe, people are finding the love that they have been looking for. That almost magical love. That kind that inspires them and makes them fall in love so easily.

You, too, can find the soul mate you have been secretly looking for. And no, you do not have to resort to far out love spells or any kind of tricks and tactics that would actually wind up working against you in the end. You can attract love into your life the right way and the natural way.

There is a natural order of how things happen in the world that we live in, and love is no different. The same universal laws that apply in every other area can be used in your love life as well.

These same laws and principles that can be used to attract money or success will also attract that mate you have been wanting so badly. When you do, you will find that love is not nearly as scarce as you may have thought. And also that it is for you.

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Dating, Romance, Love and Marriage - How to be Successful

Why is it that the tiger automatically sets on its foot upon seeing its prey? The answer is simple--it wants to immediately have its meal. Why is it that the prey tries its best to get away from the tiger? Again, the answer is simple--it has its instinct to save its own life. The reason behind those behaviors is the motivation that drives both the host and the prey into action. In life, people have goals to attain and the motivation that they have is what drives them into acting out to attain those. There are a lot of reasons to get motivated.

It could be because of more money, a more comfortable life, and even to be more successful in dating, romance, love, and marriage. Yes, one could always be successful in dating, romance, love and marriage if only the person is involved with some serious pointers as borne in his mind.

In many cases romance is the usual motivator. In this aspect, people have different outlooks. When romance is in the air, the world seems to appear very charming and it is as if the ticking of time suddenly stops. When one gets inspired by romance, he or she tends to do positive things. There seems to have lots of positive energies in the person. It is romance which actually breathes a new life to the dull mind and which lets the heart beats faster. Flowers seem to be in full bloom in the eyes of the person who is captivated by love. There seems to be no reason not to overcome the obstacles that come along the way. Life is indeed a lot colorful when romance flutters like a butterfly in the air. But of course before you could be successful in dating, romance, love, and marriage, you've got to first get to know some valuable pointers. If you want to be successful in these aspects you of course have to be fully motivated. Reach your dreams and be successful in your own right.

During the very first time to spot your mate, you have to basically create a good impression. You may or may not be experienced in dating but everything starts from zero and such is the initial step into getting through a successful time with romance, love, and then eventually, marriage. It is not terrifying to commit yourself into a date. This is one way of getting to know your mate. How should you create a good impression then? Start with the basics--wear the proper attire and be a good conversationalist. This is not supposed to be a harassing experience but rather it should be turned into a fruitful one.

Many a times, inexperienced people in dating end up stammering so the other person gets bored. When this happens, expect that the outcome is negative. How could you be successful in dating and then eventually with romance, love and marriage if you cannot carry out effectively the initial step? Would it not be a nightmare for you? You have to remember that you need to create a positive impression right on the first date, mind you. This will determine if a follow up date would push through and this is also the determining factor as to whether or not you would have a chance to be successful in these areas.

Getting to meet someone whom you are eyeing on is both a stressing and daunting experience especially if you are one who is by nature affected by frequent anxiety. In order for your experience not to be turned into a nightmare, equip yourself with the knowledge on common topics. Since it is a getting to know process, the meet-up will be all about conversing. How would you be able to partake in the conversations if you are not armed with any knowledge, right?

Do not worry because there are a lot of Internet websites that provide the tips and know-how's on how to be successful in dating, romance, love, and marriage. Do not yet think about marriage since it is the last of the steps. Enjoy the first few stages so you'll be able to ready yourself for the final salvo.

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Dating, Romance, Love, And Marriage - Is it Overrated?

They say that life is not a bed of roses, and so is love. Even dating, romance, love, and marriage are not perfect, so to speak. There are hassles that come along the way and when both parties are not strong enough to carry on with the relationship, everything ends up overrated. The usual problems with these romantic relationships include extramarital affairs, cheating, infidelity, abuse, and many others. There are likewise those who feel that they just woke up one day and were unable to feel the spark of love within them. Sometimes, love and romance drive a person nuts. These elements are factors which fuel the impulsiveness of a person. Yet in most cases, these elements are also the reason as to why the dreams which have once been built are suddenly left shattered.

When couples go to counseling, the usual phrases used are ''I love him or her but I am no longer in love", "the fire has just died out", "I feel more special with another man or woman", and many others. The offended party's ego may be totally wrecked so most of the times he or she also displays some romantic gestures or worse, the thing is taken to court. When dating, romance, love, and marriage suddenly lose their sparks, it is held to be overrated.

Now here are a few points that may be used for reflection when looking into how dating, romance, love, and marriage get overrated.

Romance is a term that is subtly used in a societal culture which refers to the experience in some intimate relationship. The perfect romance is often embodied in books and movies. However, in real life, such thing is too good to be true. There isn't a perfect romance in actual life. Romantic love affairs are not always a dream come true. They say that there is never a perfect romantic love affair because usually these things suddenly come to a halt.

The usual romantic movies are termed by many as romantic comedies simply because the situations presented are often funny and larger than life. For the traumatized individuals, these are not real. For them who have experienced tragedies in their dating, romance, love, and marriage, they find the situation indeed overrated.

The quest for romance in real life is in fact not a manifestation of love itself but is more of a proof that humans have the need to satisfy first their own personal needs. These personal needs need to be catered to, adored, and acknowledged because they are mainly part of human existence.

The personal needs are the drives that human beings often respond to. These are okay but if they become overrated up to the point of destroying the relationship that has been built up for so long a time, which is the negative side to it.

Another reason for its being overrated is because of the fact that oftentimes romance and love is somewhat equated with mating or sex. For those people who seem not to put much emphasis on morality, they see sexual union as the bottom line of everything. They feel in love when they do when in fact it is one of the personal needs again that has to be fulfilled by the person.

Dating, romance, love, and marriage are said to be overrated when the parties involved no longer find the satisfaction that they once felt and if they continue to look for other things that would make them feel contented. They just one day realize that their choice of marrying one another is a big mistake and they already have regrets. But then because of a vow that confines them, they are somewhat not free to be true to themselves. In the end they find hurting each other physically, emotionally, and mentally. Sometimes people make hasty decisions knowing that these would be the things that would define their happiness but in the end they discover that they are also the ones who craft their own dooms.

People by nature are fickle minded and insatiate. Sad to note that they only find the real meaning or meaninglessness of their options when it is already too late. Do not let yourself suffer from the overrated dating, romance, love, and marriage arenas. If you could make a difference right at the start, then do so.

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Love - Your Soulmate Part 2

In Part 1 of Love - Your Soulmate, we discussed what a Soulmate is, the different types of relationships, emotions / feelings regarding relationships, and scenarios on how a Soulmate could be identified by not only observing actions and reactions of feeling and emotions, but by first observing your own actions and reactions of feeling and emotions.

If you are genuinely seeking your Soulmate, you may like to try the following -

1. First, find the emotions most dominant in you and write them down (both positive and negative). To assist you, take a note of how you generally behave throughout each day -

* Are you happy and excited to be getting up each morning to attend your daily duties, or has it become a daily chore and bore, or maybe just a regular routine?

* Is your daily life a grind, or a powerful connection with dreams and aspirations? Is it just there to perform?

Whatever your behaviour, take note, and try to view yourself behaving in this manner.

2. Take a note of your dreams - things that you would rather be doing. Note also how deeply your desire to pursue those dreams -

* Would it be an exciting sport or relaxing by the beach?

* Would you rather be singing to a crowd or painting a countryside scene?

* Would you lie and cheat to achieve your dreams?

* Would you move only when an opportunity presents itself necessary?

3. You should now have a clear idea of what type of person you are, what you would like to be, and how determined you are to get there. The next step is to determine those characteristics required to reach your dreams -

* If you view your life as a grind, then enthusiasm and energetic energies could help to find opportunities

* Being happy and excited each morning is most unusual unless -

o You love the life you are living

o You understand the 'meaning' of life

o You don't have a care in the world

Most of us feel happy and excited some of the time, so when we are, we should be using this time to move closer to our dreams, because when the opposite emotions of depression and lethargy become more dominant, movement is restricted

* If your life is simply a series of routines with very little movement regarding your feelings, then that is good to a degree because you will not be subject to external forces as much. However if you wish to pursue your dreams, you should have more of a daredevil approach - and this could be difficult

* Is your life a chore and a bore? Then you are in the majority, because most people's lives are. To reach your dreams from this scenario requires you to sell yourself, because you're not the only one with such dreams. Become determined, focussed and prepared for any opportunity that may arise

4. Once we have determined all the above and have a better understanding of our behavioural patterns, why would we need a Soulmate - especially when their behaviours need to be examined just as yours was, and the end result should be that you compliment each other. That's harder than figuring yourself out

But if you truly are seeking your Soulmate, why rely on 'gut' feelings as in the poem of Part 1, when you can work it out methodically with a much higher success rate.

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Love - Your Soulmate Part 1

Love!

That elated feeling of floating on Cloud 9!

That warm glow of true happiness!

That ecstatic feeling of giving your all!

Your Soulmate!

But are they really? And could these, be feelings of infatuation or attraction?

How can we tell when we have met our Soulmate?

Can we find our Soulmate in an alternative relationship type - as opposed to the conventional heterosexual relationship type? And even in a conventional heterosexual relationship type, can we find our Soulmate? Or an abusive relationship?

Opposites attract, but can we base a solid relationship on this? Can we withstand the repellent side of our relationship?

What is a Soulmate? Someone to share the rest of your life with? Someone who understands you, and you them? Someone who understands and acts selflessly on that understanding? Someone who is willing to become one with you? I read this book recently, called 'Outback' and the first couple in the book were a perfect example of Soulmates - they just simply understood each other and acted on that understanding.

And what of that Love poem above? When do we honestly feel those feelings described, and how long do they last? Moments? Months? Years?

I don't know - does the description of a Soulmate (above), really exist? Or is it an ideal ... ideal? There may be relationships out there who can boast such an ideal, and I say 'Good for you, and lucky you, for such relationships are few and far between!' Why?

It is easy enough to understand someone, isn't it? And to want to share the rest of your life with them?

The secret is not in striving for the ideal, but genuinely developing the finer qualities that a relationship can offer.
Herein lays the foundation for a long and happy union.

Apart from obvious body parts, one thing that humans share is feelings - emotions! However, each human has a slightly different depth of feeling. Let's have a look at one or two scenarios -

1. If a person was dominated by angry, spiteful, vindictive emotions, would someone who displays happy, giving and truthful emotions balance the scales enough for them to become Soulmates?

Or would the negative emotions be too strong for the positive emotions to take hold, and vice-versa? What would happen then? The positive person might close up and become fearful, or the negative person may become so positive that the positive person turns negative - even more than their negative partner

Or would the positive person become just as negative as their partner, or vice-versa? Here might be a Soulmate situation - where each person acts selflessly on their understanding of each other - either positive or negative - it would still be a Soulmate relationship

2. If a person was solemn, serene, peaceful, would someone who was outgoing, agitating and aggressive balance the scales enough for them to become Soulmates?

3. Would someone who is creative, introverted and judgemental find a Soulmate in someone who has no imagination, who is loud and extroverted and who has no opinions?

The list of scenarios is endless and in each instance, I have offered the alternative opposite as an example of extremist relationships and different levels of depth to these feelings.

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